We all know that courtroom scene from the movie A Few Good Men. A rattled colonel (Jack Nicholson) demands to know if the military lawyer (Tom Cruise) wants answers.
"I want the truth!" says the lawyer.
"You can't handle the truth!" yells the colonel.
It's a famous line and one that could easily apply to leaders in the workplace, too. My mentor told me many years ago that as a leadership instructor/consultant, you get paid to tell people what others have failed to do.
Last week, I completed a Fundamentals of Supervision class in western MN. I was walking to my car when someone yelled, "John!" I turned around, and it was one of the leaders from the class. She said, "I wanted to tell you something, but not in front of the rest of the class." She continued, "You remember that line in the movie Jerry McGuire…when Dorothy tells Jerry, 'You complete me.' Well, you 'grounded' me." I smiled at her attempt to be creative. She then rattled off many areas where she needed to improve as a leader.
"As a leader, people mimic everything I do. I can't give people speeches when my behavior says the opposite. I need to ask my team members individually:
If I listen to them often enough
If I give them feedback often enough
If I recognize them enough
How they prefer to be recognized
How am I playing a role in their growth and development?"
You see, this is where this young woman understood what I try to convey to leaders of all ages every day. The moment someone moves into a leadership position, they believe that everyone else should accommodate their needs — when it's the opposite. The uncomfortable truth is many leaders either intentionally or unintentionally impose their values and preferred leadership style on others and then complain about how hard it is to find good people these days.
Someone once said 90% of solving a problem is admitting you have one.
This young woman knew she had to make changes to her leadership style. Many leaders struggle to look in the mirror and ask what they can do differently. Why? It's easier to blame the team member. Also, by admitting fault, then the leader would have to change. Now, whose fault is that? The leader's boss! For allowing it to happen under their watch.
It reminds me of the business parable where a CFO asks the CEO, "What happens if we invest in developing our people, and they leave?" The CEO simply says, "What happens if we don't, and they stay?"
Leaders Are MADE, Not Born!
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